Orphans
by mari4212
Summary: John led a dangerous life when Sam and Dean were young.  What would have happened had he not been lucky?  Warning, contains offscreen character death.


**Title:** Orphans

**Author: **Margaret

**Disclaimer: **Supernatural and all associated characters belong to Kripke, I just like playing in his sandbox.

* * *

He was eight when it actually happened.

Dad left on one of his hunts, and he didn't come back. They waited for him for days, for more than two and a half weeks with no contact, no phone calls, nothing from him. By then, the money he'd left was running low, and they were down to a few cans of knock-off brand chicken noodle soup and dry cereal that was going stale and scratched Sammy's throat when he tried to swallow.

Sammy kept curled close to his older brother when he made the call, listening to the thirteen-year-old boy's strained voice as he contacted Pastor Jim and Bobby, told them how long it had been since they heard from their Dad.

The other adults came that evening. Someone had seen Dean at the grocery store alone too often, or maybe it had been the absences from the school that was too far to walk to in mid-February weather. But no matter how they had found out, they came before Bobby could come and get Sam and Dean.

They took him away from Dean, took him to go see the doctor, even though he said he felt fine, not even any sniffles. And when they thought he couldn't hear them, wasn't listening, they said awful things about his father, things that couldn't be true. Daddy never hurt them, he didn't neglect them, whatever that meant.

He yelled at them for saying things like that, then started screaming his head off when they wouldn't let him see Dean. And he kept screaming about that until they gave in, until they let him be with his big brother. Dean would fix it, Dean would make them stop telling lies about their Dad. After they were done with the stupid doctor's visit, they drove Sammy and Dean down to the courthouse building and left them in someone's office for a while.

He fell asleep that night curled against Dean in the padded chairs at the courthouse office, clinging to the one person who he trusted to keep him safe until Daddy was back. He woke up a bit in the night when a woman looked in on them, wrapped a blanket across both of their shoulders and tucked them in.

The next day, Bobby was there. He looked tired, for some reason, and more worn out than grown-ups were supposed to be. He just said that he'd been driving all night to get there for them, and that he'd be okay in a bit. But his voice sounded funny when he said that, kind of hollow and aching, like he was lying about something important that he didn't want to discuss with them.

Bobby spent most of the day arguing with the grown-ups around them, while Dean hovered close to Sammy and read him chapters from his schoolbook. The arguments only stopped when Pastor Jim showed up in the late afternoon with a stack of papers that he showed to the grown-ups. They frowned a lot then, and talked quietly with him about things that didn't make much sense to Sammy. Dean was listening in, though, and his face just got paler and paler as the conversation went on, till his freckles were standing out sharp and dark against his skin.

One of the strangers, a small woman with curling brown hair, came up to talk to them for a bit. She asked them if they wanted to stay there for a while longer, or leave with Pastor Jim and go to a motel room for the night. Sammy thought that anything was better than another night sitting in those creaky chairs, and nodded eagerly. Dean nodded too, and led him over to where Pastor Jim was standing.

He spent that night curled up against Dean again, listening to Bobby and Pastor Jim talking softly by the window across the room.

The next day started too early, the phone in the room ringing shrilly next to his ear. Bobby answered it, his voice gruffer than normal from sleep. Sammy watched quietly as Bobby's face shifted from his normal expression into something terrifyingly empty the longer he listened to the person on the other end. He hadn't realized his father's friend could look so old, or so tired.

When the phone call was over, Bobby buried his head in his hands for a long time. When he did look up, he caught sight of Sammy watching him, and his face twisted up for a minute before smoothing out into something normal. All he said was that Sammy should try to go back to sleep, that he had some things to talk about with Pastor Jim outside. Sammy snuggled back against Dean's warm side and tried not to think about how sad Bobby had looked.

He must have slept more than he thought, because when he woke up again, it was because Dean was yelling at Pastor Jim, that he was lying, it couldn't be true. He sat up right away. Dean never got mad at Pastor Jim, not like this.

They looked over at him and Dean's face twisted just like Bobby's had earlier, before he stormed out of the room. Sammy knew he must have looked just as confused as he really was, because Pastor Jim came over and sat down beside him on the bed. And in the quiet voice he used when he was at his most serious, Pastor Jim said that they'd found out what had happened to his Daddy.

Sammy didn't pay much attention to anything, the rest of the day. He just curled up under the blankets and tried to forget that the rest of the world was out there. After a while, Dean came back in and wrapped himself around him, protecting his little brother from everything else that could hurt them. Bobby left for a while in the afternoon, saying that he needed to identify Daddy officially.

Pastor Jim stayed around the entire day, talking to various people on the phone about things like guardianship and Daddy's will. Sammy didn't really listen to the words much, but the rise and fall of Pastor Jim's calm voice was soothing, something stable to keep hold of like Dean's arms around him or the way Bobby smelled something like Daddy, like gun oil and cars.

Day melted into evening, and Pastor Jim tried to get him and Dean to eat something, with no luck. Sammy felt like there was a giant knot in his throat, and it was too hard to swallow. Dean just shook his head silently, and curled back around Sammy after they'd washed up and used the bathroom, and they drifted off for the night like that.

The next day Pastor Jim and Bobby woke them up early and gave them clothes Sammy had never seen before to get dressed in. They were a lot neater and dressier than anything either of them normally wore was. Bobby started cussing when he realized Dean's pants were a couple of inches too long, and he didn't stop till Sammy showed him the little kit of needles and threads that Daddy always kept on hand for fixing up the clothes they grabbed from Goodwill and yard sales. He wanted to laugh at the dumbfounded look on both of the men's faces, but Dean caught his eye and shook his head quickly, and Sammy remembered what he'd been trying to ignore all morning. Daddy was gone, and he wasn't coming back.

That sobered him up enough that he didn't squirm or object when Pastor Jim buttoned the stiff and scratchy new shirt up to the top button. Or when Bobby came after his hair with a wet comb and a determined face while Dean fixed his own pants to fit better, stabbing the needle through the fabric angrily.

Then they traveled back to the courthouse building that Sammy hadn't wanted to ever visit again. Pastor Jim told him and Dean to talk politely with the social worker they were going to meet, and to tell her that they wanted to live with him, like their Daddy's will had said. Sammy nodded jerkily, and Dean cleared his throat awkwardly and choked out a yes, sir before going quiet again.

It helped that it was the nice woman again, the one with the brown hair who had actually talked to them last time, instead of talking at them or over their heads to another adult. She was gentle and comforting in a way that the others weren't, and she sat down and told them what choices they could make and what would happen after those choices were made. She talked with about foster care or adoption, and then mentioned that Pastor Jim had been listed as their legal guardian if anything had happened to Daddy, and that he was willing to take them in. Sammy remembered what Pastor Jim had told them, and started nodding as fast as he could when she brought him up. Dean was a lot less over-enthusiastic, just said that they wanted to stay with the person they knew and trusted.

When the lady was sure that they'd heard all their options and decided, she called Pastor Jim into the office and had him sign some more papers. She said something about the child welfare people in his state coming to do inspections at random intervals, to make sure that they were being taken care of properly. Then she wished Sammy and Dean good luck, told them that they could always contact her or the people who would do the supervision inspections if they had any problems at all. Sammy smiled at her, but Dean just jerked his head once in response, and then got them out of the room as fast as he could.

The next days were filled with packing up their old apartment and Bobby and Pastor Jim's motel room, with Pastor Jim calling their school and requesting that their files be transferred over to a place near his church and home, and with the drive back to where Pastor Jim lived. It was a comfortable routine, something they'd done countless times with Daddy before. And slotting into that routine meant Sammy didn't have to think that much about everything that had changed, about how silent Dean was now. Or about how it felt to not turn around and see their father's large back leaning over to grab something, or his broad hand falling onto either of their shoulders.

Three days later, they were at Pastor Jim's and that all changed. Bobby had spent the days they'd been travelling arranging for Daddy's body to be transferred with them, and calling up all the other hunters Daddy had met over the years, telling them about what had happened and where the funeral was going to be. They showed up at the church in droves, dozens of people Sam and Dean had never seen who had all knew and cared about their father. More welcome than those were the handful of others that they'd met time and again when Dad had worked closely with them.

The day after they made it to Pastor Jim's, he held the funeral. And that broke Sammy's blanket of shock; broke the last bit of restraint that had kept him from thinking about Daddy being gone for good. He leaned into Dean's side and clung desperately as sobs shook him from head to toe.

And Dean, who'd been so silent, so contained within his shell that Sammy hadn't known what to do, leaned right back against him and held him tight. He leaned over and whispered into his ear that he was going to take care of both of them, that he'd protect his little brother from everything that could hurt them. Long, sincere promises, his older brother's broken voice harsh in his ear, but it felt so certain, so true. Dean would be there for him.

It was the first time since Dad went missing that Sammy felt safe again.


End file.
